God has impacted me with love I can’t even begin to explain.

You might be thinking that this is another one of those stories that some little girl wrote to make herself feel special.  But this? This is real. This is the story of how I came to know and love Jesus.

All my life I’ve been a Christian, right? Right. But I have always believed it was my parents doing,  not mine. Their choice. Decision. They make me go to church every Sunday. Make me be a part of their bible study. Make me pray. At the time, these things meant nothing to me. When I prayed, I took advantage of it. I only prayed when I needed his power. when I needed help making things go well for me. I never prayed to give him thanks for everything he’s done for me. I mean, I did, but it felt forceful and again, meant nothing to me. For a while, I went to this one church. which was great and all, and that’s where I met some of my friends. But, it didn’t really give me a great perspective on what God’s word truly meant. One day, mom went up to us and started explaining how she wasn’t feeling like she was deepening her relationship with Jesus. She then talked about a church named Northstar. I was crushed. Even though I wasn’t truly in a relationship with God himself, I was still connected to the people who went there. And the games we played at youth group. Which was stupid and dumb but I didn’t know better. That week, we went for a service at Northstar. We met Brian, who was the student ministry pastor. We continued to go to Northstar from there on. The way I see it, God has lead me and my family to Northstar. What we discuss during the service has really changed my perspective of God. A few months later, we went to a summer camp called UNTD that Northstar kind of hosted. A bunch of churches came together to worship God at Camp Chautauqua. We worshiped for about 15 minutes in the morning, and for an hour and a half in the evening.  During that one week, I learned that I am not alone.  Even if I am going through tough times at home. During that one week, I learned that there are people going through the same things as I am. During that one week, I made the most amazing friend. And, gosh, that’s even understating it. This meant so so so much to me because all my life I have been struggling so much on finding the right friend. Whenever I feel like I finally found the right one, they turn their back on me and stop talking to me. It’s as if they got tired of me and decided to give me up.  So this really was God’s miracle to me.

On Tuesday, out of a week from Monday through Friday, I completely, intentionally gave my life, my soul, and my love for Jesus Christ. Instead of standing in the back during worship, I put my hands in the air and give my all to Jesus during those few songs. During that one week, I realized how blessed I am to have a great home, an amazing family, a bed to come home to, good education, food and water in the fridge, and friends to rely on. But I also realized how broken we all are without him in our hearts. Before any of this, I groaned when Dad told me we were doing bible study that night. But now, it’s like the bible lives through me. Before, I listened to 80s, indie pop, and other styles of music. And I still do, but It doesn’t mean as much to me anymore because Christ isn’t written between the lyrics.

One time when I was 9 yrs. old, I got scared during a thunderstorm around 5 in the morning. So, I got out of my bed and went to my parent’s bed, under the covers and tried to go to sleep. To this day, my mom tells me she had de Ja Vu that morning. Out of nowhere, I started having a seizure, and a big one too. I stopped breathing, my complexion turned a blueish color. Since my mom had a weird de Ja Vu, she was anticipating something like this to happen and was awake and ready when it happened. My dad was able to do CPR while mom called 911. As you know, I wrote this paper, so you know I am alive and well four years later and did not die that morning. I like to think of this concept like God kept me alive because he had greater plans for my life ahead of me. He gave me a second chance and I can’t thank him enough for it. He led me and my family to Northstar, he gave me the opportunity to go to UNTD, he made me feel loved outside of my intermediate family, wanted. And I know that this is just the beginning of all of his plans for me. 🙂  🙂  🙂

I can always count on God to love me. No matter what, he chooses me. I think that God is like a door waiting to be opened, and our hearts are the key. So it’s not like before, I was trying to open the door but it just wouldn’t budge. Or, that I was seeking to find the door but never could. It was more like the door was there the whole time, right in front of me, but I never had the courage to open it or maybe I didn’t want to or just didn’t care.

I gave my heart to Jesus this summer by opening that door. And now I know, I choose him